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It’s large, yes, but lightweight compared to other body massagers on the market today. Other clitoral stimulators Melissa recommends include the Lelo Sona Sonic and Clitoral Suction Toy to avoid penetration but still experience pleasure. "If penetration has become painful, these are a great way to slowly and gently reintroduce penetration into your sex life at your own pace," Melissa says of this three-piece dilator set. Redefining pleasure in midlife can require a little homework, Melissa says, adding she often tasks her clients with a short quiz to help them explore what they desire now. "I have worked with women who are in their late 50s who are having the best sex of their lives because we worked on their mindset first and foremost – we know the mind affects the body so we start there," Melissa says.

A paddle is, well, a paddle, and it’s often made of leather or wood. A crop is just like a riding crop (i.e., the one used with horses), and it's often made of leather. You can use them alone during masturbation or with a partner